My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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