drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
