i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
