you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
