So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
