what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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