So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
