you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
