I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
