I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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