oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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