worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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