omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
