Ambien. No doubt about it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize