quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize