Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
