well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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