Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize