Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm way too hungover for life right now
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
