Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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