margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
