This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
