I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
