So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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