I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
