i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
