Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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