I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
