Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
