We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
