I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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