I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
