I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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