is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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