dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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