Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
