im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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