There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
