My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
