you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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