Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize