So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
