Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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