I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
