I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
