dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
