I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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