im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
