I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
