Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
