What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
