So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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