All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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