he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
