maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize