Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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