chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize