honey bunches of taint.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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