i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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