she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
