I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
