The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
