CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just blew my weed a kiss
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
