Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
