so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize