I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
