so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I looked at my own cervix.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize