is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
