Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
