I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
