This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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