Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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