this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
